|
ESSEX: Now that you mention it, I was halfway through first grade. I had this nine-year-old girlfriend, and she'd squeeze my ass and we'd hold hands. You know, simple shit. Then one day she got really pissed off at me. I had given her this little nickel ring like out of a bubblegum machine, and she threw the ring at me. I was all heartbroke and shit. So I told my cousin who was in her class, I said, "Hey, you gotta help me. I really like her a lot, I really love her." So both of us went over to her house and she was like yelling through the door. She was really mad at me. So I went outside and sat on her rocking chair. And there was this kitty cat. I looked at the cat and the cat looked at me, and it was love at first sight. So I told my cousin, "I really like the kitty." And he says, "I do too." So we both had the kitty right there on the front porch! It was fun, I tell ya, I can still remember that cat's tongue sliding over my little pecker. It felt like heaven! That kitty had a smile on his face the whole time.
MACHETE: So how did the deviance progress?
ESSEX: Well, in high school we had these sex education classes. They would take the girls in one room and the boys in the other and talk about the sperm and the egg. It sounded like some kind of demented restaurant menu!
Then I got hip to this place in Tijuana that specializes in animal sex shows. These guys and me went down to these shows and there was no ID check, so we could even drink! There were the most beautiful girls you've ever seen. They would suck off donkeys and German Shepherds, and they even had a pig that would fuck this girl. It was great!
So in sex-ed class, we'd sit there and snicker and roll our eyes at each other. Coach would be up there telling us how reproductive organs function, and we'd just watched this gorgeous girl sucking off a donkey.
MACHETE: So you have a lot of fond memories of this private sex club.
ESSEX: I'll never forget this one girl called Margarita. She'd get up and give this talk. She'd say she'd given up on men. "I just love the taste of donkey dick!" And she'd get down on this donkey's pecker for about twenty minutes. It looked like she was sucking on a firehose.
That whole place is a turn-on. If you don't happen to like watching a girl blow a donkey, all you have to do is go to the next room and there's something completely different. And then you can go on the the next one, and the next, and the next.
MACHETE: Do you remember your first trip?
ESSEX: I recall it very well. A friend named Frank took me there for my birthday. This place looked very nondescript. It had no name or sign out front. But it did have a blue door. And three very hefty bouncers in tuxedos. It was a fifty-dollar cover to get in, and they gave you a mask you could wear if you prefer. You walked in and came to this really nice restaurant with a cushy bar. You would never guess anything was going on beyond that. I noticed immediately that more than half of the customers were speaking French.
Then we went through this door and followed the guy through this maze of corridors, and finally we hit this room with about fifty people seated in a horseshoe pattern around a stage that revolved very slowly. There on the stage was this gorgeous girl sucking off a German Shepherd called Hank. This was my kind of place!
So after the girl finished sucking the German Shepherd, they brought out this French poodle that was dyed pink, and wearing rhinestone accessories. And this guy dressed in a tuxedo came out carrying a pair of mittens on a small silver tray. They put the mittens on the dog's paws, and he mounted her and fucked her. By this time I had my pants down around my ankles, screaming and hollering, "This is better than homecoming!"
I jumped out of my seat and yelled, "I want to be next!" and everybody applauded. So then the man comes over and tells me that would cost $350 to fuck the girl. I asked him, "How much if I'd gone before the dog?" He said, "That would be $500." So I said, "Well could you bring a few more dogs out, so I can get a deal?" The audience loved it. So then I became part of the show.
MACHETE: Was it mostly animals?
ESSEX: Oh no. They had a little bit of everything. There was one room with B&D, and another one with S&M, another for lesbians, golden showers, whatever. Even electricity.
MACHETE: Did you try the electricity?
ESSEX: Hell yeah, that was the best! While you're having sex they hook you up to some electrodes and feed the power through you. I've seen people get knocked out. Yeah! You can really get zapped. I had such a good time, I wanted to move to that club and live there full time. And that was just my first visit.
MACHETE: How about your second visit?
ESSEX: Well, let me put it like this. It started out with a foursome -- me, two girls, and a donkey! I was jacking the donkey while one girl was stroking his ass and the other one was jacking me. They had these restraints on him so he couldn't kick, but he didn't even try. That donkey was so happy. He was well-fed, he was fat, he was cheery, and he got fucked all the time. I even gave him a coupla sugar cubes after the act.
MACHETE: What else did you get into there?
ESSEX: They had these different rooms, like I said. One room for watersports, another one just for scat freaks. I spent two days in the club without leaving. It was remarkable, because nothing like this could ever go down in L.A. The vice squad and alcohol commission would shit bricks if a place like this existed here.
But the audience in this place also participated. Girls would be giving guys head, and guys would be going down on the women. Chicks would be doing each other with dildos right there in the audience, so it was all very stimulating. Sort of like the United Nations of Sex. Most of the people there were foreign tourists.
MACHETE: How do you suppose they found out about it?
ESSEX: Same way you find out about anything. It's like a cult thing. Next time I go, I'm going to do the Pie Pans.
|
