Seed Blessing

Save your seeds until you get enough to fill an espresso cup, or a 55 gallon oil drum, depending on how much you smoke.

Place your full seed vessel on a high altar in an ornate temple, or on a stepping-stone in your back yard.

Form a circle around the seed vessel. Note, if there is only one of you (and you are not a large snake) this will probably be impossible, so walk in a circle around the seed vessel instead.

Chant five times:

OM SHIVA SHANKHARA HARI HARI GANJA

This is a traditional Sanskrit marijuana blessing, which according to the Hindus, has been in use for 97,000 years, plus or minus a few months, depending on when you read this.

Hail Eris
Mother of Pot,
Keep these Seeds
Safe from Rot
Hail Eris,
Mother of Boo,
Cover these Sprouts
With Morning Dew
Hail Eris,
Mother of Kif,
Keep these Plants
Green of Leaf
Hail Eris,
Mother of Sess
Be Sure This Crop
To Always Bless,
Hail Eris,
Mother of Grass,
Make it Knock Us
On Our Ass.

Now, retrieve five seeds from the vessel and plant them in the flower bed at a nearby church, for entertainment purposes only.

Plant the rest in alkaline soil, where they will receive adequate light and water, and will be safe from thieves and narcs.

Note: Numerologically, the most auspicious time of year for planting your seeds is at 4:20 a.m. on April the 20th.

After your seeds are safely planted, say "Thank you, Jesus," and go fly a kite.

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