Elvis Seance

Performance of the Elvis Seance requires one Elvis Presley impersonator and five gullible Discordians. Since he or she doesn't have to even be a GOOD impersonator, the real problem will be finding the gullible Discordians. We Discordians are not known for our gullibility. For example, we don't believe Elvis is still alive, as do many infidels.

"Dead and rotten but not forgotten," is not only our slogan on the Elvis question, it is the mantra for the Elvis Seance, which will be revealed in the ripening of time [three paragraphs below].

We, however, believe Elvis will rise from the dead and help Bob "J.R." Dobbs and The Fightin' Jesus destroy the Trilateral Commission on Judgment Day.

Moreover, every Discordian, without exception, must have a photograph of Elvis in Army uniform, as a reminder that no man is above the law; and for that reason, if no other, the law should be abolished.

Now for the seance:

All Discordians present lay hands on the head of the Elvis impersonator.
Begin chanting "Dead and rotten but not forgotten," over & over until it gets boring.
Keep chanting "Dead and rotten but not forgotten," after it gets boring.

At some point the Elvis impersonator will fall on the floor and start jerking, twitching, convulsing. When the impersonator begins singing, "All Shook Up," know that the departed spirit of Elvis is among you.

If you went to all this trouble without preparing a list of questions, and you have Elvis rolling at your feet, and you cannot think of anything to say, don't ask for his autograph either, because he will be in no condition to sign anything.